I miss them.
I still call them my daughter. My son.
I was their daddy. They called me daddy.
Things happened. Life happened.
I’m still involved… as much as I can.
It’s my duty as father. As a man.
Now they call me by name.
When asked about them by my friends I still get tongue tied.
How do I refer to them?
As my girls’ big brother and sister? My first daughter and son?
My former step-daughter and step-son?
“Your wallet is so small Mr. Teevee”
“My daddy hates big wallets”
The light eventually punches through the blinds and I open my eyes. Eventually.
Most days my mind wakes me before my body is truly ready to rise. I find it funny most days. Other days I want to punch my mind.
It took me years to realize that I have a very particular way to wake up and be ready to take on the days challenges. It took me years to honor my body.
I tried to force it to do things that that my body just was not going to do.
I see the distinct differences in my girls. You could see these behaviors since they were infants and see them play themselves out daily almost 10 years later. Living life gives you these angles of perspectives.
So now, I lay here. Sometimes for up to two hours. Work is being done. I find my mind a curious funny thing.
I lay here. Let it run and assemble my day.
My priorities. My frustrations. Give myself some positive affirmations. On the more interesting day I may cuss myself out.
I am worthy. I am a beast. I am a success NOW. Time to share this with the world!
Lets roll out!
No Excuses
If you’re bored. Find a hobby. Anything. If you don’t like your new hobby, pick a new one.
You will eventually make this hobby your passion. And there are few things more beautiful than
watching someone pursue their passions.
If you’re want to make more money, develop a new skillset.
Or stay where you are and make yourself valuable. Then ask for a raise.
If you feel dumb…read more, do more, surround yourself with interesting people.
If you don’t like your boyfriend/girlfriend… dump them. (WOW, I know)
Be single. Work on yourself, hardcore! Then find a new love. It’s ok.
Make better choices. Improve on the last one. It should be relatively easy, since
you are a better person. We tend to attract what we project. Chew on that for a minute.
If you came from a poor family, use that experience as fuel to power through the tough time.
Don’t allow yourself to use that as an excuse to continue being poor and broke minded.
If you want better friends, pick a hobby. HA! Got you there right?
Do things with a new set of people. Some of them will become your new best friends, even if you
drop this new hobby.
If you want to find the love of your life or simply a new significant other, find a hobby. HAHA!
Seriously. Get out. Be out. Live out loud. Show the world what drives you, motivates you, and even attracts you.
There are billions of people in the world. There is at least one for you. 
Life is tough. No doubt. But make no mistake about it, there is still plenty of good and plenty of opportunity. Be passionate.
Unless you live in a third world country with no opportunities, there really is no excuse.
No excuse. None. Onward and upwards.
Family Activities New Years 2013 Family Activities
- Learning photoshop
- Pregnancy talk / bird and bees
- Watercoloring
- Schedule writing
- Dancing
- Eating daddy’s world famous salad.
- Sneaking into daddy’s bed nightly
- Toasting in the new year
- Playing Solitaire
- Writing random song abou
Perhaps this is normal. I has to be.
I think of my father a lot. So much it almost seems wrong.
It makes me sad. It makes me weary. Although there are some good memories as well.
I look into the mirror and I see him. Staring at me.
I imagine it has to do with the fact that my first memories of him were at my current age.
He must have been right around 37-38. He was 31 when I first exploded on the scene.
I see him. Every day. As a young man. As me.
I feel this incredible amount of joy at seeing him as I remember him. Innocent and untouchable to my little eyes.
Every piece I want to write revolves around him and his influence, both the good and bad.
So this will likely only the first on my memories and how they have shaped me.
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